FFAQ
Frequently Fucking Asked Questions.
Q: Why do you use profanity and swear so much on your site?
A: OK, well you can fuck right off now you soft cunt. But in all seriousness, literally fuck off over here to a "safe space", you soft cunt.
Q: I love your shit! Do you do discounts?
A: Do hookers do discounts? Do weed dealers do discounts? Actually, yes, weed dealers do, don't they now that we think about it. We'll consider it for your second purchase. In the meantime, go to the bottom of the page, Join the mailing list you little bitch and fucking follow us on Instagram.
Fucking follow us on X too if you use it.
Fucking follow on TikTok as well now that you're here.
Q: I've ordered the wrong size, can I get a refund?
A: You get two stupid questions a day and they don't carry over. Do you want to use your second one now, or later? Twat.
Q: Why don't you do sizes above 2XL/XXL?
A: For your health. If you need a mirror to see your cock or pussy, then you should really work on that. Come back when you can squeeze into our max size. Best of luck Biggy Bigs!
Q: What's the best way to take care of the T-Shirts and Hoodies?
A: Read the fucking care instructions on each product. Fuck me pink, how do you even manage to get out of bed each morning FFS?
Q: When will I get my order?
A: It's typically after you've fucking paid for it and after it's been shipped. FFS!
Q: Are your products sustainably made?
A: Great question and yes, yes they are! There's an endless supply of small children making our shit, they're fucking fast too! (They actually are all great quality products we should add. Do you think we want to wear shit?)
Q: Are your products good for the environment?
A: Of course they are you twat. And because they are, we've booked a Tortoise hunting expedition for early next year! Gotta balance things out, right?
Q: What's your favourite part of the Dickies Stuff website?
A: It's the part where you pay and then come back again and give us some more of your money for some of our other good shit. What the fuck else would it be, dickhead?
Q: You state at the top of your pages that you'll spend your profits on weed, mushrooms, MDMA and hookers. Is that true?
A: Well not entirely. We actually much prefer THC vapes nowadays as opposed to buds and there's a great selection of flavours out there too!
Mushrooms? YASS BABY! We've a particular fondness for Albino Penis Envy infused fudge bars. Hero doses too, obvs.
Studies have been undertaken using MDMA as a treatment for PTSD. We, on the other hand, just use it to get pinging off our tits to some solid Drum and Bass.
As for hookers, it depends on the mood but certainly on occasion (Dickie and Ms Dickie do like to share each other). But we also love to go to swingers clubs, which is where you can make new friends, and fuck them!